Mary Eggers

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Today I set an intention as I dipped into the water at Masters practice. It was 5:45 am and I looked at the pool filled with swimmers, and I looked at my lanemates. It’s amazing to me, we have swum together for years. Shared very difficult sets, moments. We have laughed very hard at very stupid things. We have just swum quietly together in times of grief.

When you share yards, miles, or even miles per hour together you become family in many ways. One year ago I became part of the Stud lane. One year ago it was my intention to just live through it. And that I did. Ken, Bill, Eric, Les… they all lapped me. And they lapped me a lot. In many ways I was just a reflection of the swimming talent that I have. That I spent 12,000 yards a day in college learning how to shine.

When you evolve into multisport, those pure runners have to let go of some of those fast 5k times just as we swimmers need to let go of the good old college days. When 200′s were swum on 2:20. When 100′s were done on the minute. When the workout entailed 12,000 yards a day.

I am lucky to average 10,000 yards a week now. And that’s a good week.

So this morning when I swam behind Bill who was behind Ken I set the intention. No longer would I just survive this lane. One morning I am going to lead a set this season. I don’t believe that improvement to my swim requires more time. It requires more effort within the time I swim. Rather than hang on…. I will take aim. I will swim next to Bill in lane 1 and as long as it is not breast stroke… I will stay right with him.

I will not get lapped. At least for a 500

This morning I was able to set the tone. I made all of the intervals, I did not get lapped (okay so we did swim 20 X 25′s………) I didn’t die. I wasn’t even close.

Which goes to show what you can achieve when you set your mind to it. When you set a goal and expect nothing else than 100% of yourself. When you finally allow yourself to show up.

I saw Ken getting closer but I did not let him lap me. When Bill M. pushed off the wall I gave him 2 seconds and I stayed closer. For a whole 50 I even stayed in his bubbles.

And it felt good. I know I have more to give. I have much more to give. It begins with stripping down the walls that hold be back from reaching, from being, and from taking aim.

Thank you for stopping by.

Mary

I am extremely excited to announce my participation in an event that I fully believe in, that will be happening here in Rochester this coming February. I was recently invited to speak at a Symposium that will be held at the University of Rochester, as part of a traveling exhibit highlighting Eating Disorders. It is a combination of voice and art which will demonstrate and help educate people as to exactly what an eating disorder entails and means and does not just to a person… but to their family.

I will also be giving my annual talk at the State University of New York at Geneseo on February 11th. We’d love to have you along.

Many of you know that I am all too familiar on this topic. I am in my thirteenth year of recovery from an active 10 year run of Bulimia Nervosa. Yes, do the math that is correct. I began to binge and purge when I was ten years old.

My son is seven years old. I was only three years older than he is right now when I began my journey on this almost deadly road. Truth is, I was one of the lucky ones.

As I said I am now in my thirteenth year of recovery, and just like every other process of recovery…. it is one day at a time. There are days when I feel absolutely free of this illness and then there are days where I feel I am still under its thumb.

Eating Disorders are a tricky business. They begin with weight and they morph into something very frightening and very difficult to understand. Look at an anorexic and tell them how thin they are, how can they not see that?

On the surface when an anorexic looks into the mirror she sees a different image than you do. But on the inside is where the illness is truly happening. There are issues of control, fear, etc.

Bulimics tend to look normal and they know that the binge / purge cycle is “disgusting”. We know it’s horrible. That causes us to become even more ashamed. To rid the feeling of shame we binge to stuff it down and then vomit…. to get rid of it.

For me Bulimia was a lot about getting rid of feelings that were too big for me. I had a terrible relationship with my older brother. He was physically and emotionally abusive towards me. Most brothers can be, but I learned to handle it very badly. I learned to soothe the feelings of pain by eating and then I learned to rid myself of those very same feelings, shame, pain, fear…. by throwing up. I did know that this was not the right way…. but it was the only way I knew at age ten. Age ten.

Because that was the way I dealt with life that became the way I dealt with life. From disappointments to elation…. this is what I did. From exams to swim meets to enduring adolescence. This is what I did.

My parents did everything they could to help me. But until I hit absolute rock bottom, until I had to stand on the edge of life and death…. all the help on earth wasn’t going to save me. Save me from myself.

Believe me everyone on earth tried to help me. The harder they tried the sicker I became.

Over those years I did a lot of physical damage to my body. My teeth, my esophagus, my heart. every single day that I look in the mirror I can’t believe I have finished four Ironmans.

13 years ago I was supposed to be dead. My senior year in high school I was voted most likely to be dead by 30… for this reason.

The doctors told me I would never have children and I would not be healthy enough to enjoy a healthy lifestyle. I would have problems forever they said.

So at the finish line of my fourth Ironman, my fastest Ironman, I thought about what they all told me. And here I was, a sub eleven finisher, a mother, a wife, able to fulfill a dream that most healthy people would never even try to embark on …….

The issues with my heart were one of the biggest catalysts to my recovery. The bigger inspiration to me were the children I met at the Roswell Park Cancer Institute. I was a volunteer there, trying to learn what nursing was like before I embarked on my nursing career.

One day I sat in the game room of the hospital. My job was to play with whoever came in. A boy who was eleven was sitting in there watching TV. His parents were working and he had cancer so long that it didn’t affect him that he was alone. We got to talking and he told me he dreamt of being a hockey player. He dreamt of it every single night. He told me that he would close his eyes and he could feel the stick, he could smell the ice, and if he tried really hard, he could feel the wind as he skated towards the goal.

I realized that this boy would have given anything to be in my shoes. He would have done anything to only have an eating disorder and not cancer (which he did later die from). And I felt so selfish. I felt that I had created this illness within me, and this was something I could recover from, and this was something I…. in a way …. chose.

I think about that boy very often. I think about him when things feel like they are heading up hill. I think about him when I feel tired or sore, or even when I lean towards those old thoughts and feelings.

I don’t believe I am someone special because I am recovering from an eating disorder. I put my own fingers down my throat by my own accord. No one diagnosed me with a disease that I didn’t know was happening to me. I had opportunity after opportunity to get help. And I had refused.

The first day of the rest of my life came after a hospitalization 13 years ago. I felt absolute gratitude. Absolute gratitude. I vowed to the memory of this boy that I would earn what I was given. I’d earn this life.

I have tried very hard to do just that.

When I speak about my experiences I try to emphasize that we have help available to us. All we have to do is make the decision that we need to get better. We need to reach out our hands and take hold of the ones that have been reaching to us.

We need to stop making it complicated. We need to do what we do with everything else. Make a decision, put our head down and get better.

I imagine my little friend is skating away somewhere in the universe. Free of cancer, free of pain. I imagine he can now hold the stick and now head towards the goal.

And I realize that my recovery is my choice.

Thanks for stopping by.

Mary

Please forgive me in advance…. I am going to take a victory lap. Because tonight I opened up my bike box, which was sealed on November 4th as I rolled it onto an airplane after Ironman Florida. A day that held many great things for me.

Mary

I am not sure what I have gotten myself into. Last week I received an email from Jen Harrison… it was an invitation, and it was intriguing.

An invitation to a weekend of training. In North Carolina.

So far so good.

Then I read the list of characters…. no one whom I knew, but I knew by reputation. Jennifer herself, the speedy little Elizabeth Fedofsky , super star Ashley Long, and some other super size names; Amy Kloner, Tracey McKee, Stacey Richardson… Kristin Villipoto…. (please forgive me if I have missed anyone) I could be in form some big time trouble.

None of them know me, but they are graciously welcoming me along, and Ashley opened her home to all of us. Thank you in advance Ashley.

I don’t know what is in store, but I know this…. it will be good, it will be adventurous, it will be fun, and heading south in the winter? The timing could not be any better. Just when the miles on my comptrainer will start getting to me, just when the darkness of winter is making me a little crazy… a little sun and a little fun.
If nothing else it gives me something terrific to prepare for as I head into my own busy season. Work, school, teaching, it all gets quite busy very soon. I will have to be on top of my game in all areas, especially ahead of my school work.

February isn’t that far away and on the other side of this trip there are just a few weeks between touchdown and take off again.

I never went on spring break in high school. I never even did that in college. I braved the cold of old SUNY at StonyBrook and buried my head as I trekked to the pool on New Year’s Day. Coach Dave and the rest of my team…. we hunkered down on Long Island while the rest of the University were tanning themselves, we had our fuglies on and we had business to attend to.

So the time has come. I am going on a winter break trip. Being that I am not one for drinking much (remember my sister’s wedding?), but I am one for working out a lot. Anything above 32 degrees will be tropical and I am a damn expert in keeping warm and staying dry.

Whatever these awesome ladies have in store for me, I will be ready. I will be waiting. Likely I will hang at the back, but I will be the caboose with the biggest smile.

And I hereby appoint myself and Elizabeth in charge of the coffee. We are the coffee captains and no one who should not have coffee (Jennifer Harrison) will have it if we do not say so.

Now, it’s time to get rid of this off-season…. winter break is waiting!

Mary

I received a few questions about the below post, that I thought I would clarify;

1. What is a ceiling? I call a ceiling … the slowest I’d go. In the below set

30 X 100 on 2:00 with a ceiling of 1:20; the 1:20 is the slowest I would go. The early ones it is “easy” to hammer out some 1:10′s… and then struggle through just making the last 5. I would slow down and aim for 1:15 and aim to hold that the whole set. So think of a ceiling as the slowest pace you allow yourself to go.

2. What’s the best yardage to shoot for? Again, an individual answer. In an ideal world we all have 60 minutes 3-4 times per week to swim. If that were the case I’d aim for 3,000-5,000 yards. I always favor frequency over yards. If you can swim 5 days a week for 40 minutes, I would suggest that over 2 X 60 minutes per week.

3. How much do you swim? I swim 2-4 times a week, 60-90 minutes per session. My masters team swims 2 times per week (the 90 minute sessions) and depending on the focus 3-5,000 yards. In contrast I used to swim 10-12,000 yards per day in high school and college. Added contrast… I swam a 5:30 500 yard free in college…. I am lucky to swim a 6:30 now.

4. What kind of goggles do you use? In the pool I use Swedish goggles. For open water swimming I use TYR Goggles, but I don’t know what kind they are!!!

Mary

It’s a common belief (and of course I’d support it…) that swimmers make the best triathletes. In my experience it is much easier to teach a swimmer how to run, than a runner how to swim. . Now I know plenty of amazing runners who became awesome swimmers, and I know plenty of good swimmers who struggle on the run (ME!). The common thread in these runners turned swimmers is …. hard work.

It is true that swimming is 90% technique. Make no mistake about that. With that however comes the component of pace, just like in running and in cycling.

Through out my swimming career I have seen it all. The advent of Total Immersion, the positioning of the head, and the progression of turns. Namely the backstroke turn. When I began swimming we did the bucket turn. In high school it evolved to the flip but touch the wall turn, in college it evolved even further.

I left competitive swimming just before the introduction of the speed suit. In college we wore paper suits. Since I swam the 500, 1,000 and the mile, I had to get a new suit every meet. At the end of the mile it was disintegrating.

So how much does it take to improve swimming? It takes longer than cycling and running. Apply the same frequency and dedication as you do to bike and run, and you will see results within a few months.

I like to cycle my swimmers through a swim camp at least once a year. In swim camp they swim 4-7 days a week for 45-60 minutes at a time. This will last from 4-6 weeks and depends on pool availability. Within their workout there is a warm up, a drill set a main set and a cool down. I take a look at their strokes to give them the proper drills and we repeat those drills over and over and over.

Broken down, my swim workouts tend to follow this style:

1. Warm up. Ideally my athletes will warm up 600-1,000 yards depending on ability, experience and time constraints.

2. Drills; I use a variety of drills and we repeat that drill for weeks. Drills are meant to over emphasize a portion of a stroke.

For example the 6 kick switch drill; this drill is done wearing fins or zoomers and the athlete kicks on their side for 6 kicks, and then switches sides. The head is looking down yet slightly forward. The front hand is pressing down, not just hanging out in front there! This drill emphasizes the catch phase, getting on the side, balancing and rotating. And it’s very simple.

We repeat this drill for weeks to allow it to absorb. When the swimmer swims their regular stroke the above points are emphasized but the swimmer does not swim identically as the drill.

3. Main set; I like to use the T Time method with my athletes. To establish your T Time swim a timed 1,000 yards (40 lengths). From that final time you can determine your 100 yard repeat time, by calculating the average pace per 100 yards. From that T Time you can then establish your 100 yd repeat time, and from there you can establish appropriate repetition for all distances.

A favorite set of mine is this and it progressed through the season. Let’s use a T Time of 1:20.

The set begins as 30 X 100 on 2:00 holding a ceiling of 1:20

It then progresses to:

30 X 100 with a ceiling of 1:20.
#1-10 on 1:45
#11-20 on 1:30
# 21-30 on 1:25

And the final set whittles its way down to; 10 X 100 on 1:20 holding a 1:18.

This set teaches pace, teaches pain tolerance, and improves your speed. How I create this set is determined by the distance you are training for.

4. Cool down; my cool down sets are from 200-600 yards. I like to swim slow, but swim the most perfect stroke that I can.

Mixing the drill and main set portion of a workout can always be fun.

Example:

5 X 100 on T Time + 5 seconds

repeat X 4

If you have a coach have them or someone who is a “swim expert” watch you swim. The key to having someone critique your stroke is to have that same person be the one who always critique your stroke. My swim coach will get upset if we give each other swim tips. She has a great point as to why; she is the one who sees us swim in practice. We give each other tips and then don’t watch each other swim.

Swimming styles have as much individuality as running and cycling styles. Watching a video of Michael Phelps swim is a great idea, he has a gorgeous stroke, but trying to look exactly like him is impossible…. unless you have a wing span longer than your height too!!!!

Michael Phelps has a Popeye style breathing technique. So do I. My husband does not. Why? Mr. Phelps and I have been swimming forever. Curt has not. So while Curt swims the same speed as me we will look different when we breathe. So Curt trying to look like Michael Phelps when he has never breathed in the same style…. pointless.

Therefore….. Having the same person analyze and critique your stroke is vital, because they would know your background. They know your style of swimming, they see the progression and if the swim tip they give is being executed correctly.

How often should you swim? Again this is individual to you, and what you are training for. If you are a 20 minute 1k swimmer competing in Intermediate Distance or ITU races, it is worth the extra time and frequency in the pool to aim for 18 minutes. In an Ironman you can have a swim over an hour and still win.

Based on those two factors, and see what you can realistically fit in. Think about scheduling a swim camp, perhaps during the fall or the winter when you might be laying low on the running or cycling miles.

The bottom line…. don’t be afraid to take on your swim. If you don’t have access to a Masters swim team, find a reputable coach who has experience in stroke analysis. A good coach will give you one thing to work on for a few months. One who aims to change it all…. turn and run.

Addressing your weakness in the water will add speed to your stroke, if you give it time. It will also ensure you exit the water a little fresher than you would if you could swim the same time on no swim training at all.

It’s all a matter of perspective and having the guts to take the plunge!

Swim Fast!
Mary

And so it begins… the most wonderful time of the year…. at least in my book. A time when we gather as families with those we see a lot, and those we don’t’ see quite so much.

A time when we share Turkey and Pumpkin Pie and watch the parade on TV. The eyes of children fill with wonder as they witness those massive floats swimming down the New York City Streets.

If you know me and Kelly B., you know we are great friends. I call it more like a sisterhood that began way back in 2002… the last time I ever beat Kelly B in a race.

We had just done Ironman Lake Placid 2002 and I bombed it, she nailed it and qualified for Hawaii. 5 weeks later we toed the line against each other at the Hamlin Beach Triathlon. The Who’s Who of Western New York triathletes always went there.

That was the last time I got her

This week I begin 2 weeks of structured active recovery… and only because I stalked Coach T so much he threw in the towel. Then on December 3rd I officially begin the journey to Ironman Lake Placid. Kelly B will be in Colorado… but she’ll be making the same journey (at altitude!!!) and we will get to race together on a really great day in our favorite place on earth. Lake Placid.

mary

Something terrible has happened. And I never expected it to. I may have fallen back in love with being a nurse.

As you know I am a pediatric emergency nurse … very… very… part time. Not too long ago I had set out to change careers. In January of 2009 I would quit the nursing profession and embark on the Education Pathway. Teaching, of course. I can change the world!!!!! My chosen career has left me burned out (at four hours a week???) and dreading the medical world altogether.

And then last Tuesday night happened. Burn Boy rolled in. He was the age of 7, and he spilled chicken soup on his lap. His thighs had 2nd degree burns and suddenly…. my passion flourished. I used to work in the Pediatric Intermediate Care Unit, and burns were our specialty. At that time a new Doctor came aboard and changed the way we care for burns.

Dr. Christopher Lentz and his wife Dixie Ried, PA, reinvented burn care for children in Rochester. Gone were the painful burn scrubbing sessions. Along came new dressings, new treatments, conscious sedations.

I fell in love with burn care because it was something I could look at, get my hands on, not theorize about. It wasn’t white blood cell counts or transplant failures… it was right in front of me. Day by day I could see the healing, day by day I could do so much.

So on Tuesday when Burn Boy came in there was something I could do and start without the blessing of anyone else. I could medicate, dress, begin IV fluids, begin the healing process, and the family was wonderful. They asked great and appropriate questions. They listened, they were supportive. Mom felt so horrible, and it wasn’t her fault.

For the first time in so very long I felt like I was a nurse again. And I realized that I had become the product of my environment.

Why do I stay in the Peds ED? Because I have control over my schedule and I love my colleagues. I have the best colleagues ever. Form a former ARMY nurse who served in Vietnam…. to new grads…. we have an amazing group.

A kid once came in with one arm and my friend Amy and I together infused blood and kept him stable until we arrived to the OR’s door (his arm was reattached).

This is a team that watches out for one another.

As I left the hospital on Tuesday night I remembered that I don’t have to work in the Peds Ed forever. I don’t have to deal with shootings and Medicaid and abusive people. I am there because I choose to be.

Which led me to realize that I am back at the fork in the road. Leave Nursing completely? Trade it in for the headaches of the educational system? Or Pursue my Masters and as a Nurse Practitioner … search for something I love.

Practice Therapeutic Yoga as an NP…. or as an Educator……

I will now have to say I don’t know what to do. Except to stop thinking about it. For now I shall again postpone decisions until next September. I will allow the semester to come as it does, I will keep my eyes open for opportunities. In the meantime I will continue to be the best coach I can be, the best yoga teacher I can be, the best nurse I can be…. the best me I can be.

Thing always happen for a reason and I really learned one thing on Tuesday night….
I ain’t over yet.
Mary