Mary Eggers

“I found the perfect car for you.” My husband told me a few months ago. “It’s so you!”. He caught my attention. For some background I am 36 years old and I have only had 2 cars. A Toyota Camry station wagon and a Toyota Rav 4, which I presently drive.

I leaned forward…. eager to hear about what he had found.

“The cube.” He exclaimed. “The Nissan Cube!” I waited for him to laugh. Then I realized, holy sh*t he’s serious. The CUBE? Oh dear lord. The CUBE.

First things first: it’s ugly. But I don’t even care about what the car looks like. Okay, in this case I do. This is ugly. secondly it’s front wheel drive. Have you ever seen my driveway> It’s a downhill driveway, so ridiculous to get out of in the winter that I can’t even hire a plow to plow it for me. How the hell am I going to get this box out of it? Thirdly I am a triathlete. My car is my locker room. This isn’t a candidate for a locker room.

However…. because he was so excited about it, and more importantly because he was willing to endure the headache of test driving, the hassle of dealing with the salesperson, the paperwork…. ugh. I hate that aspect of car buying so much that if he was willing to go do it for me…… then I’d shut up and be grateful.

And drive the damn driveable rubix cube. Maybe I could even get it custom painted.

See, I am not ready for a new car. My Rav 4 only has 174,000 miles on it. If you are a Toyota driver you are well aware that this baby isn’t considered old till it crests 200,000. What went on my old Toyota was the body, never the engine.

This past fall so oddly enough the transmission went. On a Toyota! I know! Nothing is better than just finishing walking through the line at Ironman Arizona as Curt resigned up for 2010, and having the tranny place call to tell you they can rebuild it for a lot of K.

We rebuilt it. I know , but I was in such shock that the transmission went that…. I did it.

Since…. well there have been some issues. It shakes under 30 miles an hour. We call it the shaker car. The brakes are dying. The check engine light is on. The rear brake light is out. But it’s my car, it’s my baby. It might be able to make a trip to Buffalo but its trips to Lake Placid are gone.

I have to get a new car by Saturday. My inspection expires. It’s time. No more waiting. This one is going to go a little early.

Forgive me but I got a little choked up when I drove her to work yesterday. There is history in this car. I got her right before 9/11. I remember sitting in the front seat, Luc was just months old, crying. It’s where my world changed.

On my rear view mirror are the flowers from Kona. The seashells from my first Clearwater. The beads from New Orleans. There are two stickers, one that says huggs and one that says believe. In those moments of doubt before that first Ironman I’d look at those two words. They gave me strength.

I have the care from my Grandfather’s funeral in the visor thing that flips down to block the sun. It’s my way of keeping him with me.

These are just things. They come with me. But if the interior of this car could talk. It’s been all over the country. I have slept in this car in Lake Placid. I have laughed here. I have cried here. I have dreamt here. I have wondered here. It’s been my locker room, carried my bikes. Traveled to Ironmans, listened to me grieve.

Don’t forget about the time there was a MOUSE in my car!

When i sustained my head injury in 2008…. and the subsequent aftermath  I wasn’t allowed to drive for a bit. I remember getting behind the wheel again and being afraid that I wasn’t ready to live again.

 If these seats could talk.

Luc has grown up in this car and I feel like the older Luc gets….. the more I keep giving pieces of his childhood away. And I am not ready for that yet.

It’s just a car, I know. If I feel this way about a car, you can only imagine how I feel about a bike. Perhaps that might explain to poor Adam who about passed out when he witnessed ….. the bikes…… of our house a few weeks ago.

I will have a new car on Friday. In fact I did some research and I talked my husband out of the Cube (big sigh of relief) and I will be getting another Rav 4. I meet with Ronnie on Tuesday. Which means I have to begin the clean out effort. Oh boy.

It’s just life moving on. I think I am just afraid that the next time I need a new car Luc will be finished with high school. These 9 years have gone by too fast and I honestly dread the next nine passing equally as quickly. Some people can’t wait for their kids to grow up and get out. I want it to slow down.

So this is a big week, in more ways than one. A new car, a new chapter. I hope this new car is ready, because it needs to be tough. It needs to be durable. We have a lot of miles to cover and we have a lot of dreams to be had behind the wheel. There are skies to see while adventures are had. There are sunsets to be seen dropping behind billboards.

On Tuesday I will meet with Ronnie, do the dirty work that I hate. But it’s time. I can’t procrastinate this any longer. It has to happen and it has to happen this week.

There is more life to be lived.